The Times’ integrity in reporting

Good morning Deano,

Virus quandary

I hope today finds you well. It sure has been a busy summer so far. Were you able to make it to Barack Hussein’s, for his birthday gala? I believe all guests were given dispensation from the revered “Dr.” Fauci, as far as mask mandates were concerned. I believe the term “sophisticated vaccinated people”, was used to describe these obviously superior guests, by your sister outlet CNN. Great coverage on that super spreader event up in Sturgis, South Dakota though. It seems the delta variant is able to distinguish between “sophisticated vaccinated people”, and those from the dredges of society. Quite a clever little virus we have here, eh Deano? President Trump is a racist.

Editor’s note: see your editor’s treatment of these two affairs.

Officer Ella French (Rest In Peace)

I have not seen much coverage in regards to the murder of Chicago Police Officer Ella French in your award winning publication. I have been away, but when I searched your award winning publication, I could not find any coverage at all. This can’t be right? I remember you had nonstop coverage of the death of that citizen George Floyd. You see the quandary here, don’t you Deano?

A law enforcement friend was asking for some specifics. Will a gold coffin be offered for Officer French? Will all major news networks and media outlets be covering the funeral of Officer French? Will there be any giant murals put up in major cities (possibly on the side of The Times)? Finally will the family of Officer French receive $27,000,000 for her murder? Has anyone reached out to the murderers Mother to get comment? Or is she still in Police custody due to her own attack against Police. Just asking for a friend, Deano.

Joey being Joey

Joey is knocking it out of the park daily. He is showing the whole world his incredible decision making acuity. Simply breathtaking. He is threatening to withhold money from the terrorist organization the Taliban, as they run wild in Afghganistan. Wait, does that mean we are subsidizing a terrorist organization Deano? I don’t remember any administration bargaining or funding terrorists before, do you Deano? As we speak, Joey is sending 3,000 troops BACK to Afghanistan, to try and save the US Embassy.

No need to worry though, Joey reached out to Taliban leaders to ask them not to attack the Embassy, as they obliterate the rest of Afghanistan. So, we have that to fall back on. Well, that’s Joey for ya. When asked to comment, he was busy eating a waffle cone with his favorite ice cream, that “Dr.” Jill bought for him. She promised him if he was a good boy, and he didn’t take any questions from the press, he could have a cone. It is so charming to see her wiping away the ice cream from Joey’s chin with a napkin.

OPEC, border, Delta, …

How about Joey calling OPEC, asking for more oil due to demand? So far, Joey has made us go from energy independent to energy dependent, by handcuffing American corporations and pipelines. I don’t know about you Deano, but I enjoy paying over 40% more at the pump. Not to mention the grocery store, that is a whole other story. So, ease up radical right, who doesn’t mind some inflation.

Finally, the border crisis has hit an over 20 year milestone. The highest number of illegal aliens crossing the border in 21 years was hit last month. Bravo Joey, bravo. The administration is blaming this on the ubiquitous “root causes.” Now, how can any rational person argue with that, huh Deano. President Trump is a racist.

How’s that Delta variant thingy working out down there? Good thing our kids have to wear masks. Great policy Joey, or does the credit go to the border czar Kamala?

Joey and the gang

So much is happening everyday with Joey and the gang. Of course, the radical right is saying Joey and the gang, namely Schumer, Pelosi, the squad and the like, are intentionally trying to destroy the United States. They point to these absolutely moronic policies under a cognitively challenged and socialist/communist regime. Mostly enacted out of spite, to reverse the successful policies of President Trump. They also point out that this circus is on full display for the entire world! China, Russia, North Korea, etc must be salivating. They are saying this administration is nothing short of treasonous. When they tried to reach out to Joey, he was still MIA. It seems the secret service is still looking for him as he got lost trying to find the entrance to the White House. He was last seen wandering around in the rose bushes.

Well, if Joey does get impeached due to his embarrassing ineptitude, he can always go back to his old job. You know, when he was driving those 18-wheelers. I mean the man does it all! I do think though, that you need a CDL license to do that, and there is no record of this apparently. The records must have gotten lost, after all, it is not like Joey to lie.

Goodbye Andy!

Lastly, we bid a sad goodbye to New York’s favorite son Andy Cuomo. He was not able to fight this witch hunt any longer. He sadly, will be gone in about 2 weeks. I understand he may be recruiting Hillary to destroy… sorry, I mean gather evidence to fight a possible impeachment. We will no longer be able to see that smiling face at his daily press conferences (Emmy award worthy). Maybe Andy can apply his litigation skills in unison with Roberta Kaplan over at the renowned Times Up organization.

Wait a minute… I believe Roberta had to resign as she worked with the lovely Melissa DeRosa, and Andy to smear the women who accused Andy boy of sexual harassment/abuse. Now, how ironic is that Deano? Well, Joey said , “Andy must resign“ (no mention of Tara Reade, I understand). Then later said, “Andy did a hell of a job.” I understand “Dr.” Jill was furious, and you guessed it… no waffle cone that day. She later caved to Joey’s whining and gave him a couple of fig newtons while tucking him in.

Have you been able to keep up with all this from Larchmont Ca. Deano. I understand it is a lovely, tony, non-diverse community. Good for you Deano, good for you. Keep up the unbiased, apolitical, objective, HONEST reporting. What an example for our children. Your family must be so proud.

Sincerely,

Chris Cirino