I Am Proud of My 17-Year-Old Self Who Bravely Chose Life

It has taken me 18 years to tell my story. But thanks to the women around me, and my beautiful children, I finally have the courage to speak about my past, so I can offer hope and healing to women like me who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant.

Choosing life wasn’t easy – but choosing abortion would have been worse

I was about to graduate high school when I found out I was pregnant. I was in a relationship with the father of my child, but he didn’t treat me with the love and kindness I deserved. Many people close to me, out of fear and confusion, suggested I should have an abortion.

I understood how fear could lead them to make that suggestion, but I knew immediately it wasn’t the right decision for me. While I was unprepared to be a mom and was facing a challenging time, I knew I would choose life for my child. Additionally, deep down, I wanted to prove I could have a child, and that abortion was not a real ‘solution’ for my situation. I also knew choosing abortion would not put an end to the abuse I was experiencing from the father. The pain and suffering I endured in our relationship would have only increased exponentially.

I decided to move forward with my pregnancy and shortly after my 18th birthday, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. Two months after our daughter was born, the abuse from her father intensified, and he began selling drugs. One night after an argument, he threatened me with a gun. When he was sent to prison, I finally felt free from our toxic relationship, but now I faced my new role as a mother all alone.

Another brave decision – to walk away from an abuser

My loneliness led me to look for love in the wrong places, and I eventually found myself in another abusive relationship involving manipulation and drugs with no way out. During our relationship, I gave birth to two little boys and was pregnant with my third when I finally decided to leave. In the middle of the night, and nine months pregnant, I packed up my three kids and left. 

With the help of my family, I started nursing school and attempted to juggle four children under the age of five, while going to classes, working, and completing my studies. A friend told me about a local Christian church, and I began attending regularly. Soon my children started school there, and the church community welcomed us as part of their family. The women’s ministry director at the church, who is now one of my closest friends, poured into me and my children and showed us love and compassion during some of the most challenging seasons. Through a single parent’s group offered at the church, I learned about Shepherd’s Village, an organization that provides support, healing, and housing opportunities for single mothers and their children.  

Paying it forward

I eventually moved into the village and lived there for three years with my children. I took financial support and parenting classes while also attending a bimonthly support group. While at the village, I was able to grow in my faith and relationship with Christ, find my community, walk through healing, and finish my Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing. The village is one of several ministries of New Life Solutions in Florida, an organization offering medical care, post abortive healing, counseling, support, resources, and so much more to women in need. The organization had such a profound impact on my life that I decided to apply to New Life Solutions and worked my way up as the director of medical services. For the past four years I’ve worked in this position and provided ultrasounds, counseling, and medical care to pregnant women in the area.

A fresh appreciation for life

I never expected that as I helped pregnant women find hope and healing, I would also find it for myself. For so long, I pushed my trauma aside for fear that if it came to the surface, it would be too much for me to handle. As I sat at work telling women that they were deeply loved, valued, and worthy of happiness, I realized I needed to listen to my own words. While my journey has not been easy, it led me to New Life Solutions and gave me my beautiful children. I found healing and strength, and now I have the courage to share my story so that other women know they are not alone.  

I speak for the women who are facing emotional, mental, and physical abuse. For the women who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant. For the women scared for their life, and their child’s. For the women who are told that abortion is their only option. I will continue to use my voice to remind them that they are not alone and that there are resources and love available to them. 

This article was originally published by RealClearFlorida and made available via RealClearWire.