Dear Mrs. Clinton: After watching the CNN Democratic debates, I was very impressed with how confidently and authoritatively you spoke about the issues. Since I am apparently not as smart as you are and remain a bit confused about some of your answers, I thought I would take the time to ask you to clarify some of the responses you gave during the debate and on the campaign trail.

Mrs. Clinton, how about your wealth?

The first issue that I am confused about is your commitment to income and wealth equality. You have claimed on numerous occasions that you believe this is wrong and that you will fix that problem. Since I too would like to wipe out poverty, I am anxious to hear about your plan to start liquefying your assets, as well as those of your very rich donors, and re-distributing them to the poor. I know you have claimed in the past that you were not a rich person, but since according to a Time report your estimated net worth in 2014 was $32,015,004 and the net worth of the average American (according to the Credit Suisse Global Wealth report) was only $301,000, I – along with other Americans – will greatly look forward to receiving our checks for the difference arriving in the mail – assuming you are as honest a person as you would have us believe you are.

Along the lines of income equality, which you have had much to say, I understand that your annual income is $30,522,506, while the average for all races of the American household (according to the US Census Bureau) earns $53,657. Therefore, since you claim your positions have always remained consistent, I – along with other Americans – am looking forward to receiving a check in the mail shortly that will make my finances equal to yours – or at least hearing about your plan to remedy this disparity.

Additionally, since your home’s estimated value is $2,400,000, while the average American home (according to the US Census Bureau) for 2010 was $247,900 (including land), I can’t wait to receive a check for the difference of this as well – or to find out which charity you will be donating your current home to when you purchase one that is worth $247,900.

Women’s rights?

Of course there are other issues that I am excited to hear you agree with me about. For instance, protecting women’s rights and making sure they earn the same as their male counterparts. While I don’t work for you or any of the organizations you head, I am thrilled for the women that do and can now expect a substantial pay raise that will make up the difference between what they now earn and what their male counterparts earn.

Regarding women’s rights, I am very happy to hear that you are our champion – as I’m sure are the numerous women who claim to have fallen victim to your husband Bill, such as Gennifer Flowers, Monica Lewinsky, Kathleen Willey, and Paula Jones – just to name a few. I am assuming that this gesture will include calling off your attack dogs that have slandered and persecuted these women in the past and issuing them an apology with perhaps some monetary compensation for their misfortune.

I am also confused about your answer that Black lives matter – implying that other lives don’t. Does that explain why you commented “What difference does it make?” when asked about the deaths of Ambassador Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Tyrone Woods, and Glen Doherty – all of whom were killed in Benghazi while you were Secretary of State? After all, none of these men were Black, so perhaps their lives didn’t matter to you. I guess that would explain your cover-up and disinterest.

The three a.m. call

Mrs. Clinton, I also remember an ad you ran when you campaigned for POTUS last time. You implied that you were the person we wanted answering the emergency call in the wee hours of the morning. Please explain where your were when Ambassador Stevens was asking for help or when they were under siege and the order to “Stand Down” was given to those that wanted to help them. What time did those phone calls come in and where you there to answer them? I’m sure you must have a good reason why you let these men die in the manner they did.

Mrs. Clinton, I am also very interested in hearing your plan to eliminate the killings in cities like Chicago, Ill and Camden, NJ all of which have very stringent gun control laws. You claim that by taking guns away from law-abiding citizens that crime in these cities will be eliminated. I am very anxious to hear how you intend to persuade the criminals in these cities to surrender their firearms. Do you intend to tell them that the USA is now a gun-free zone, and do you think they’ll be inspired to live a crime-free life now that law-abiding citizens are unarmed?

I am also interested in hearing about the successes you were responsible for in your prior position as Secretary of State. I tried to find some success recorded somewhere on the worldwide net but couldn’t. As I recall, you were Secretary of State during the Arab Spring and when Egypt and Libya fell, and when people were being beheaded by ISIS. I know you claim that you were part of the initiative to find Ben Laden and kill him, but you failed to mention that he was in hiding because of President Bush. I’m sure that was just an oversight, but please tell me how his death made the Middle East a better place under your service as Secretary of State.

And finally, Mrs. Clinton, I am happy to hear that your email scandal should no longer be discussed. Is that because you will be plea bargaining regarding the charges made against you, as you expected General Petraeus to do, or is it because you think we have spent too much time on such a trivial thing as national security? And I would also like to know what is so funny about this allegation, since you laugh ever time it is brought up. After all, I enjoy a good joke just as much as anyone, so I would like to understand where the humor in this issue lies. I am also anxious to know when those in prison or those being accused of a crime can finally say to prosecutors around the nation that “enough is enough.” Because many of them are not political, perhaps they will not be able to claim that they are being persecuted by a vast Right-wing Conspiracy but they can claim that they are being persecuted by a vast Rule of Law Conspiracy. And, while you’re at it, you can also educate those living in America that still think we have a Constitutional form of government. After all, few in Congress, the courts, or in any other branch of government believe that the law is what they say it is at the time. Of course this wouldn’t apply to those who still cling to their Bibles and guns, since you wouldn’t want them defending themselves against criminal elements. Just think of all the money we can save on the judicial system. That savings alone can greatly reduce our deficit – if not eliminate it all together.

Oh – almost forgot – one more thing. Would you please tell us why the Watergate Commission fired you for dishonesty, and would you also let us know why we should now believe anything you say?

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I will look forward to hearing from you and your response to these confusions – but you can be sure that I won’t be holding my breath while I’m waiting.

Reprinted from The Daily Rant, copyright 2015 Mychal Massie. Used by permission.