Brer Donald and the Epstein Files Briar Patch

Enquiring minds want to know: What the heck is up with Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein?

The Epstein Files turned into an embarrassment

Whether it’s a slow news month or just proof that the news business has a sweet tooth for the salacious, all media outlets – both old and new – have been working overtime to explain the bizarre machinations of Team Trump to either expose or cover up (take your pick) the truth about Epstein’s predilection for pedophilia.

That was a long sentence, but not as long as the wait for convincing evidence regarding Epstein’s suspicious death (by suicide?) in federal prison in 2019, information about his supposedly wealthy and well-connected clients/blackmail-victims/pals, and the truth about any connection between the mysterious financier Epstein and one President Donald J. Trump.

Of course, as everyone knows, transparency was a recurring theme in Trump’s 2024 campaign, and he led his followers to believe he would release the Epstein files just as he promised to do with the JFK, MLK, and RFK assassination files. MAGA-world megastars like Kash Patel, Dan Bongino, and Tucker Carlson all suggested that it was important to find out the truth about Epstein’s life – and death.

And Pam Bondi, Trump’s attorney general in his second term, went so far as to promise to release all the files. Unfortunately, her first effort was to hand over to MAGA “influencers” a binder labeled “Epstein Files: Phase 1,” which contained nothing but documents that had already been released, were partly redacted, and infuriated Trump’s base.

Would a Phase Two come out?

In an effort to extricate herself from the mess she had created, Bondi then made extravagant statements that suggested something big was coming. According to her, the FBI was reviewing “tens of thousands of videos” of Epstein “with children or child porn.” She also made an ambiguous statement on Fox News which was widely interpreted as saying that Epstein’s client list was “sitting on my desk right now.”

Then the FBI and Justice Department put out an unsigned memo on July 7 that declared there was no “incriminating” Epstein client list, no evidence that Epstein had blackmailed “prominent individuals,” and no evidence to refute the official story that Epstein had committed suicide in prison. Bondi was left scrambling to explain that she didn’t have a client list, that no videos of Epstein would be released, and that everyone should please stop asking.

It was widely believed among MAGA supporters that President Trump was being mis-served by his Cabinet and highest ranking law-enforcement officers. Surely, heads would roll. But instead, at a July 8 Cabinet meeting, Trump chastised a reporter for asking Bondi about Epstein, even though the unsigned FBI memo had just been released the day before, making it fair game.

The president jumped in and told Bondi she didn’t have to answer.

I can’t believe you’re asking a question on Epstein at a time like this, where we’re having some of the greatest success and also tragedy with what happened in Texas – it just seems like a desecration.

So much for transparency.

No one knows what those Epstein files might contain

At this point, a full-blown war between MAGA world and MAGA leaders broke out, and it looked like Trump was walking on thin ice. He started to call the Epstein story a hoax, but never explained what that meant. Surely, Epstein had been a nefarious criminal as well as a famous financier. His degenerate life had not been a hoax. His death had not been a hoax. What had been a hoax?

We were all left to wonder, and meanwhile, Trump’s enemies speculated that he was trying to cover up the story because he himself would be found on the purported client list. Trump’s friends, on the other hand, thought that perhaps someone in the Biden administration had taken Trump’s known friendship with Epstein 30 years ago and planted false stories about it in the so-called Epstein files, just as Hillary Clinton had planted fake news about Trump and Russia in the Steele Dossier.

But no one really knew. They still don’t, even though legacy media outlets have been scouring the Internet and newspaper morgues for anything to report about the friendship of Epstein and Trump. So far everything that has been published is innocuous or of questionable legitimacy. Many have speculated that if evidence of improper behavior by Trump in the company of Jeffrey Epstein existed, it would have surfaced during the last four years when President Biden’s administration was running a full court press to destroy Trump and send him to jail for decades.

That’s a reasonable assumption.

Reverse psychology – or a trap

But if you don’t mind, I have a theory of my own, based on decades of observing Donald Trump from afar, and an acknowledgment of his uncanny ability not just to avoid being tarnished, but to somehow make his accusers look like asses.

What if Trump knows with absolute certitude that he is guilty of no crime or significant ethical lapse in his association with Epstein? And what if he knows as well, either through his friendship with Epstein years ago or through official sources, that many of those who would be implicated in criminal behavior if the full story came out were Democrats – and not just any Democrats, but his sworn enemies?

Given that scenario, I posit that we can build a logical explanation for why Trump is protesting so hard that the Epstein story is a hoax or a waste of time even though his protests just make his enemies want the truth more than ever.

It’s almost as though Trump is screaming at the press, “Not the Epstein files! Anything but the Epstein files! You can have JFK. Or MLK. Or RFK. But please, please, not the Epstein files!”

Remind you of another refrain?

Oh please Brer Fox, whatever you do, please don’t throw me into the briar patch!

Yep, it’s crafty Brer Rabbit, who in a famous 19^th-century tale, was desperate after being caught by his own sworn enemy, Brer Fox. It looked like the rabbit’s days were numbered as the fox considered whether to eat his longtime foe or just kill him.

The original Brer Rabbit

That’s when Brer Rabbit had a brilliant idea. He told Fox that any kind of death was better than being thrown into the briar patch. Drowning, hanging, being eaten were all to be preferred over the briar patch.

In fact, the rabbit screamed so loudly and so insistently that he didn’t want to be thrown into the briar patch, full of stickers and thorns, that the fox decided that was the perfect punishment.

And so the fox gullibly did just what Brer Rabbit wanted him to do, and threw the rabbit into the briar patch, thinking he had won at last. Until he heard the rabbit laughing with glee, reminding Brer Fox, “I was bred an’ born in the briar patch” and “I ain’t got a scratch.”

How Trump gets the last laugh

If I have to spell it out, here goes:

Donald Trump is the craftiest politician of the modern era, and though he has been distracxted by accusations, he always seems to come out on top.

What if Donald Trump knows there is incriminatory evidence against some of his biggest enemies, but also knows that if he releases it on purpose, he will be accused of playing dirty politics with his enemies just as Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and Hillary Clinton did against him?

In that case, Trump might very well huff and puff and act all indignant over the demands that he release the secret Epstein files, making everyone believe he is hiding something. But wouldn’t it be amazing if the dirty rotten truth – when finally revealed – completely exonerated Trump and sent scores of Democrats in search of lawyers?

But don’t take my word for it. It’s just a theory – till it isn’t.

This article was originally published by RealClearPolitics and made available via RealClearWire.