The immigration reform bill now percolating through the Senate will solve nothing. If it passes, the United States will have yet another constituency for politicians and employers (or labor leaders, or both) to exploit. The Gang of Eight know this. For that reason, they resorted to out-and-out bribery, that politicians call “pork,” to get it through the Senate. And yesterday and today, a big alternative-media organ called them on it and made them squeal like – well, like stuck pigs.

Immigration reform, or amnesty?

Everyone but the Gang of Eight, it seems, knows what the immigration reform will do – and not do. (Anthony Martin, at examiner.com, called it an “amnesty bill” and said it would never get out of the House of Representatives.)

On Monday Senators Robert Corker (R-TN) and John Hoeven (R-ND) saw the passage of a massive (1,200 pages!) amendment to the Gang of Eight immigration reform bill. It purports to offer measures to secure the southern border, where most illegal immigrants cross. Actually no one believes it will work out that way.

Senator Hoeven describes it thus:

It is $3.2 billion worth of technology, planes, unmanned aircraft, sensors–all on the border, spelled out in this legislation–that ensures we have a secure border. That must be met before there are any green cards, and that is where we start…

Excuse me, but who says the border is secure? Right: the SecHomeSec. And this administration, more than any other, has shown that loyalty to a Presidential agenda trumps giving an honest report when a new law calls for it. (Janet Napolitano still has not explained, for example, why she ordered 1.6 billion rounds of hollow-point ammunition.)

Chris Chmielenski at NumbersUSA caught the Gang of Eight in a lie, by the way. Page 80 of the Corker-Hoeven Amendment holds this clause:

If the Secretary determines that an alternate or new technology is at least as effective as the technologies described in paragraph (3) and provides a commensurate level of security, the Secretary may deploy that technology in its place and without regard to the minimums in this section.

Really? Then why did Senator Rubio say this?

We do not just say you have to deploy this technology, we tell you where you have to deploy it. We do not even leave that to DHS.

The hotel-echo-double-lima you don’t, Senator.

Matthew Boyle at Breitbart.com has an even better analysis than this.

But that’s not all Boyle has.

Shameless bribery

A briefcase filled with money (and a gun). Photo: Andrew Skudder, CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic License

United States Senators and congressmen no longer take bribes in the old crude form: the attaché case, full of money, that the bearer carries into a room after attaching it to his wrist with handcuff and chain. But Marco Rubio might as well have done just that. Everyone knows that bill is full of pork – riders, or provisions having nothing to do with immigration reform, dispensing taxpayer money as freely as Broderick Crawford dispensed money in the motion picture Born Yesterday. (Or as freely as Edward Arnold dispensed money – and threats – in Mister Smith Goes to Washington.)

Boyle described a real sick-making program. Remember Obamaphones? Now try ObamaCars for size. The hat tip must go to Byron York at The Washington Examiner, actually. The bottom line: a “Jobs for Youth” program, that even gives these “youth” the “transportation” to those jobs. And not bus or train tickets or tokens, either. Cars. (Though how long that would last under UN Agenda 21, CNAV will not speculate.)

¡Falta! cried Senator Rubio.

The language of the bill reads “supportive services, such as transportation and child care”. The qualifier here is that they will be provided “services” and not “goods”. That means the program could provide a service, like a bus ride to a work site, but it cannot provide a car, scooter, motorcycle, or pair of roller blades.

Oh, yeah?

“Clearly a ‘service’ includes Uber, limousine service, a rental, a lease and any sort of transportation that may not include ownership transfer,” a GOP aide told Breitbart News in response to Rubio’s office’s claim. The provision, that aide maintains, could be twisted into suggesting that the actual act of purchasing of a vehicle would constitute a “service.” Alternatively, when administration officials seek to implement this provision, they could determine that transfer of ownership of a vehicle is the only realistic and legally palatable way to implement the mandate Congress gave them.

Senator Rubio seems to have a problem with people thinking he’s giving away free stuff. Before, it was “Marcophones.” Matthew Boyle covered that, too – and in this same immigration reform bill! And this time, Rubio defended the phone handout.

Giving people living and working on the Mexican border the ability to communicate directly with law enforcement is important to securing our border.

CNAV has a better idea, Senator. Grant to any ready, willing, and able volunteer the authority to subject any border crosser who crosses their path to citizen’s arrest. It’s very simple: make illegal entry a federal felony. By custom that predates the Constitution, any free citizen may make a citizen’s arrest when they catch someone in flagrante delicto in a felony. But of course he doesn’t want anyone arrested. That’s not what this is about.

Immigration reform is useless without a secure border

Ronald Reagan, bless his heart, made that mistake. The Simpson-Mazzoli Act of 1986 brought us to this sorry pass. And the situation was so ridiculous that Cassandra Peterson, better known as “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark,” once told an interviewer for an airline throw-away magazine how she liked to scare people:

Go into the kitchens of trendy Los Angeles restaurants and shout “¡Immigración!” Gets them every time.

“Immigration reform” is a code phrase for “amnesty.” And amnesty benefits the Democratic Party and only the Democratic Party. Newly arrived immigrants, destitute, unskilled, not even speaking the language, will naturally vote Democratic. Marco Rubio, other Senators, and our de facto President threatens Republicans with permanent electoral defeat if they vote against this “immigration reform” bill. Well, that’s exactly what they will get if this passes.

Sorry, Senador. Sorry, Mr. Usurper. Immigration to a country like the United States of America is not a natural right. The proper model for a country – the model any other country follows – is not “Walk right in.” It is, “Apply within for membership.” And on terms we set, not the applicants.

And that eight Senators so sullied their office with their shameless bribes (with other people’s money), means they know they can’t possibly make the case for “immigration reform” that amounts to an inexorable enactment of Tocqueville’s Disaster:

The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public’s money.

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