Obama v. Osama: who lies the most

Perhaps the names can be a little confusing. I’ve heard more than a few people confuse the two names, but that’s not where the confusion ends. If you have followed the sensational story of the ultimate capture of America’s arch enemy, Osama Bin Laden, chances are you have noticed more than one “misspoken” word.

At first we all heard that a gun fight broke out, but of course now we hear that Obama – excuse me, Osama – wasn’t armed. We heard that the Seals had orders to capture him alive, if possible, but then we must reconcile that with the tale of an unarmed man hiding behind a woman. Then we hear that he didn’t hide behind a woman (his wife). Oh wait, now it seems that he threw the woman at the Seals but didn’t hide behind her. We hear that she died in the raid, and then we hear that she did not.

Hang in, there’s more. First we hear that the information that ultimately led to this episode came from waterboarding KSM; now that’s in question. Oh, the latest story is that it did come from waterboarding KSM but not at Gitmo, but of course, none of the credit can go to President Bush’s policies. Hmm – didn’t Obama consider prosecuting Bush for permitting this procedure? Of course all along we have heard that Pakistan was working with us to help capture this villain. Now we find that he was living in a compound just outside of their equivalent of West Point, but of course we are to believe that Pakistan didn’t know that.

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So, how does a room full of United States dignitaries watching the events unfold end up with so much confusion? The entire event took 40 minutes, at least that’s the current version of the story, but the eyewitness accounts can’t seem to agree about what exactly happened during those 40 minutes. Too bad they won’t let us interview the Navy Seals. They’re the only reliable witnesses in this whole episode. But the people in that viewing room ask us to trust them with our lives and our fortunes when they can’t even agree about what happened during what could be this decade’s most important story – and one that they personally witnessed. Forgive the sarcasm, but with ears the size of our President’s, surely nothing would escape his hearing. Perhaps he needs to have his eyes checked, along with the rest of his motley crew.

While we can all agree that this was a score for justice and the American way – a great day for America to be sure – the conflicting stories, and the untrustworthiness of those would paint themselves as heroes in our eyes, have tainted it. And I would advise those in power that when you tell lies, you should keep your stories straight, whether it be what happened in Pakistan on Sunday, May 1^st or what is happening in the back rooms of our government. We the People are not that stupid.